Singing

In Ecclesiates 3 it says there is a time & a season to everything in life, but it never promised that the seasons would be easy. In fact it describes good & bad times - a time to be born, a time to die; a time to weep, a time to laugh; a time to speak, a time to keep silent. But it does continue with the promise that everything God does is good. There is a song and a saying, "God is good all the time, All the time God is good".

It is no secret, that I have struggled since moving to the UK. I have struggled with leaving my career; I realize now that I had wrapped my identity in my career and my "success". I have struggled with loosing NeeNee, though I was blessed to know her for 7+ years and will be the better because of it. I struggle with the daily routine of life now - how do I fill the 6 hours the kids are at school with anything meaningful. I have struggled with leaving Willow Hill and all the friends/family there, forgetting to thank God for the blessing of KingsGate and all the new friends He has surrounded me with.

But what I miss the most is singing! I miss singing in the Praise Band (both rehearsals and Sunday mornings); I miss singing in the car to WCIC (Christian Radio in Peoria); I miss singing with the youth & jumping up & down to crazy songs; I miss singing at Snyder Village; and I miss the occassional solo or duet opportunties.

Singing is a release for me in so many ways. It is a way for me to verbalize and identify my feelings; it is a way for me to worship & be close to God ~ sometimes I believe it brings me to the Throne Room & gives me the ability to process the experience...

It has been a long time since I brought out my performance cds and tapes, but tonight I did for a little while. Of course the constant interruption from Kevin & the girls cut short the experience, but it did give me a glimpse of what I miss the most.

I'm not sure what this particular season is supposed to teach me, but I will stand firm in the promise God is good all the time and all the time God is good. And I will ask God to put a song back in my heart...